Hey Pandas, What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing You Say So You Don’t Swear?

February 03, 2022

I’m not allowed to swear so I say stuff like "freaking", "shoot" and most notably "fugeknukles" to avoid punishment. I’ve heard stuff like "frubida" and have recently adopted "shiitake" and I’m eager to hear what you say.

#1

Sometimes, when I'm really pissed, I moo instead of swearing. Don't ask me why, I don'r know either.

#2

fudge nuggets, gosh dang nabbit and shiitaki mudhrooms.

#3

I would imagine someone swearing in medieval languages, like thou art a cookie or something

#4

1. Mother-father
2. Dog farts
3. Got-dandruff-some-of-it-itches
4. Son of a biscuit

#5

What in Cthulhu's name and H-E-Single Asgardian Hockey Stick.

#6

Idiotic brain damaged booger pickin chicken butt! It’s one sentence.

#7

Pants, shoes, and 'oh for the love of cheese and crackers'

#8

I just try to run out of momentum before I get to the swear words, so something like, "Dirty rotten lousy miserable pathetic excuse for a ..." until I eventually give up.

#9

Grasshole and fudge

#10

Shirt like from the good place

#11

"Monkeyface". Do you want to hear the evolution of why I say that? If not, too bad.
So, when I was little, I liked Spy Kids. The main character, Carmen, says "oh shiitake mushrooms" bc she can't curse. So I started saying it, until my mom told me it was an actual curse word (oops).
My mom says "shmonks" when she's trying not to curse, which is a derivative of "shiitake mushrooms". So I started saying "monkeyface". And now when I stub my toe I scream "holy goodness", but the monkeyface thing was cool for a while.

#12

Not really bizarre, but I say ‘What the Fred’ and ‘Holy Sharon’.

#13

Holy guacamole

#14

Oh licorice sticks, oh for petes sake ( btw who IS Pete, idk), Booger nuggets, chmichangas, Snooze feathers

#15

I growl deeply. I dunno why, but I do it all the time. They aren't quiet little growls either.
My poor throat. . .

#16

"Frickadoodle-"

#17

one time i stubbed my toe in school and went FFFFFF and then slowly went...fructose. the teacher was skeptical. i also really like bull-spit and just any medieval or creative curse, such as beaver dam and god daniel it

#18

Holy crepe

#19

rOcKs!!!!

#20

MotherHell

#21

Ahh, Fudgesicles and Lollipops!

Not sure how my brain came up with it but works.

#22

Fekkin' is one of my favorites. That and "for the love of ballpoint pens"

#23

What the chocolate fudge

#24

You absolute- followed by any word you want. Examples are: you absolute dishwasher, you absolute fridge, you absolute chicken headed dog water. If you want actual swearwords substitutes I’m not that helpful since almost everyone just uses the actual word here

#25

"Blort." A substitute for all the swear words.
Blort!
Holy blort!
What a blort!
I randomly came up with it when I was 10-ish and I still say it :P

#26

i hug my dog instead of swearing don't ask why idk

#27

Fudgknukls

#28

Bullgarbage

#29

What The Fazuli? or any Ice Cream flavor that comes to mind e.g. Why in the Mint Chocolate Chip would you do that?

#30

I was once reading a very old book where, instead of cursing they used the expression "¡Cáscaras!" (Shells, in English - like those from peanuts-). And it got deep rooted in my brain. Now I say "¡Cáscaras!" Whenever I try not to curse.

#31

Sweet Baby Pancakes is my "holy s**t." Also, "son of a motherless goat," which is from the Three Amigos.

#32

This one was completed by accident... wanted to say 'son of a b**ch' but it came out 'bunny snitches'. Now my go to!

#33

My favourite from my brother (who is a Priest) "Oh for the Lord of Loaves and Fish!"

#34

Dirty poodles. Worked in an animal shelter for a spell and also am certified in pet grooming. Ever try to groom a very dirty poodle?

#35

what the fudge cakes?!!!!

#36

Oh balderdash!

#37

Well Spit
Fluff
Where didn't you learn how to drive
Go cuddle a cactus

#38

Instead of m*****f****** I choose instead to say MOTHER NATURE

#39

I either switch to Spanish or say either piss, cheeky, flying monkey, and hint at the bad word (ex: ahh mother-! Or sonofa-)

#40

"Puppies and kittens!!!" and when that's not enough, "Puppies and kittens everywhere!"

#41

Son of a motherless baconator is my favorite one

#42

I go with zark, because usually the person I'm arguing with hasn't read The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

#43

Furgermurger!
Dipped (This one gets shouted to bad drivers. They can't hear me but I still say it.)

#44

Golly whing-whang
Shish kebab
Bullfeathers, bullcrud
Fumbling, flying
Motherflipper

#45

what the fluck-cluck

#46

Fudgesticks! Fudging heck...

#47

Son of a Biscuit

#48

Shooty la marde. Dagnabbit!

#49

Christ on a Cracker!
Oh wait....that's still cussing, isn't it?

Pooper scooper!!

#50

Racka-frackin’ filibunkin' bortin'.

No one can curse without swearing like Yosemite Sam!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWYFxekoAsM

#51

Fudgesicles and shishkabobs

#52

Frack.

I watched too much Battlestar Galactica.

#53

DUCK YOU!
(or i just start squealing because i have a broken brain)

#54

Pinfeathers and gollyfluff!

Source:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3fyC0MkdtI

#55

I say, "what the heek are you mother flowers doing!"
I've said this when the little kids at school are too loud and obnoxious.

#56

“Cheese!”

#57

Anything in this list with a & after the word means that I don't know if it counts or not.

Sh** = Crap& or Scheisse (Sh** in German)
He** = Heck (Duh)
F-Word = Frigg&

Also stuff like
"shEEEEEEEEEEEOUOUOUTTT

#58

Two that I picked up from my husband.

Son of a Biscuit.

And

Mother Puss Bucket.

but since I've been living in the South, "Bless their heart" has come into my vocabulary.

#59

Son of a nutcracker or son of a buttcracker

#60

i say " holy air fryer!"

#61

i say this:

wHy In ThE hAm sAnDwIcH wOuLd U dO tHaT???

and

what the cheesy potato skins are u doing?

#62

instead of calling someone a b***h I call them a piece of bread. My parents still don't know that's what it means.

#63

Rat farts or Rats on a stick

#64

Oh my gods, schist, do immortales, γαμώ(the f word in Greek), and gods of Olympus. Yeah I’m a pjo fan if y’all couldn’t tell.

#65

“What in the holiness of chicken nuggets” “Freaking Mare” “FRICK” “Shoot” “Crop” “Hoover Dam”

#66

wat the hekk is dat huh why u do dat bruh idiotik

#67

Not ridiculous per se, but sometimes I start today sh!t, and jut end up going shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

#68

Whistle.
My husband learnt it, if I'm whistling, I'm not in agood mood, I'm too mad to be asked if or why I'm angry.
In 5-15 minutes of whistling, it calms me down too.

#69

Why did no one add Cheesus Crust yet?

#70

Son of a fire truck

#71

My husbands says "ratfarts".

#72

"mother-fluffer" and 'razzum-frazum' are my go to's.

#73

Fudge monkeys is a favorite

#74

What the fudgesicles?

#75

Son of a dog
Frick you
F**k f**k f**k fecky f**k
dangnabbit
Holy cheese

#76

Add on common things like: what on the chicken nuggets?! For the frickity fracks sake!

#77

Add on common things like: what on the chicken nuggets?! For the frickity fracks sake!

#78

“Barstools”. “Oh fffff”. “Sugar”. “You little scumble” if it’s a cat I’m cross with. “You little buglers”, again to the cats.

#79

My go-to is fudge-nuggets

#80

Heckity heck is my favorite, although I also like frick, sometimes I say carp instead of crap, I call people muffinbutts and it’s really fun for some reason… holey jeans, etc etc

#81

Not me, I live by the "Swearing is good for you" camp, but my dad does an angry drawn out "G*d bless Armenia." Instead of G*d D*mn it
(Notes, some religions protest writing the name of the lord and I try to respect them, hence the self censorship)

#82

Crud monkeys
Holy Cats
Blasted or Blast it depending on the grammar required

#83

"Fiddlesticks"
"N'Luuura" (that is from a book series, same meaning as hell)
"Fuzz and fluffles"
"Fek"
"Rude!"

#84

Fut the wuck.
Fudge nuggets.

(My "go to" used to be the F-Bomb.)

#85

Son of a nutcracker, Oh my goodie goodie gumdrops, bang dang it Micheal (I don’t even know who Micheal is) and Fiddlesticks.

#86

You Raven Starver!
I also likw Beep

#87

Booger snot when you forget something or something is not cooperating

#88

Fudge-cracken-pots. Altogether just as it sounds. I also had a friend years ago from Spain and she would always say "bananas", it was lovely with her accent. It has been 12 years and I still say it because of her.

#89

Holy Christmas!

#90

I say “holy cats!” Or “for the love of everything pink and purple polka dotted!!”.

#91

S***= shoot or crap
F***= freak/freaking
A**holea**wipe= ozweepay (it’s from an old Saturday night live skit; search it up!)

#92

Long time ago I knew a sweet little old lady whose favoured curse word was phenyle!

Myself, I tend to use thiiiiiit!

#93

Go eat spaghetti out of a shoe!

#94

Krum, mother trucker

#95

oh ffffuuuuun times!

#96

I say chupacabra... And no, I don't know why.

#97

Sugar Honey Ice Tea

#98

Fart-Nugget, Son-of-a-biscut-eater, Fart a Dart, poop nugget, GOD!.....bless America

#99

i remember when i was a smol boi i had just heard the word b*********y (disgusting right) so i was getting mad at the homework i had so i loudly screamed B********Y i had no idea wat it meant but i was still grounded for a week lol

#100

Sherbatsci!

#101

I saw "Crap doodles" a lot. I honestly like it more than swearing. I still swear a lot, but Ive been able to rein it in more by saying that lol.

#102

Very frequently use things like "shoot" "heck" "dang", but I got my more unusual one from a couple of my favorite clean YouTube channels. Both DanTDM and J from the SuperCarlinBrothers just use "BUTTS!!" as a replacement for swearing. So now I say it all the time ?

#103

Oh fiddlesticks, diddley dang it, Sheeshkabob, You Marshmallow of Satan,
Sometimes I just scream, beep, and make weird sounds too. I have no idea where marshmallows of Satan came from, to be honest.

#104

I have quite a few. Some of them...

Sweet serendipity doo daw day!
Fudge knuckers!
Frog's breath!
Achalavida!
Dag nabbit!
Darn tootin!

#105

it wasn't me, but I heard a lady in the store say " I'm fed up with your shhenanigans" haha good catch lady

#106

You freaking android! You son of a toaster! Oh my guacamole! Well darn and drats!

#107

what the frick frack diddily dack patty whack snick snack crack pack crackerjack train track quarterback biofeedback thumb tack tic-tac just happened?

#108

GRAVY! I have no idea why.

#109

Too many! I have the classics (frick, heck...) but then there's "holy carp", "holy crudbuckets", "frackdiddlydumptious", "fudgeknuckles", "fudge nuggests", "son of a biscuit", "what the actual flippers", "bullsheepgoatpoop" (don't ask), "oh chiz", "holy cheeseburger", and way too many more...

#110

Usually i just say the first letter or say flip or dang or something like that

#111

Once hit my knee at work, started to yell sh.. and then changed midword to shinanigans so I wouldn't get in trouble. Stuck with me. Also use Good Gravy and gurgle shmurgle from the movie Black Cauldren.

#112

cheese nuggies

#113

Several years ago I started saying "Holy Christmas Trees". Now my adult children say it, too!

#114

I worked for the government for a while and had to talk to people in the phone all day long, I developed the habit of saying “oh my goodness gracious” instead of “oh ffs!”
Also I have a habit of saying “Christ in a Cream Cheese Sauce” instead of the “f-word”- from a book I read as a teen!

#115

For the love of Peter, Paul, and Mary; Jiminy Christmas; What the H. E. Double Hockey Stick

#116

See You Next Tuesday!

#117

i say:

aiefjowjweifjaoeifj;aeiofj;eoifja;eoif

#118

No poo Poirot

#119

not me but my friend

she says “what the pudding”

which i think is quite cute

#120

Bother! Said Pooh...

#121

"Mickey fricky"

I watched a TV edited version of Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing when I was young. Every time a character said MF, it was edited as mickey fricky. So, to this day, that's what I use when it's inappropriate to curse.

#122

I cuss like a kindergarten teacher on a break, but I am trying so hard to not say GD or JC. Don't ask. I know it makes no sense, but anyway, instead I say Gee-Hay-Zues. I have no idea how I came up with that or what, but it helps. IF I try not to cuss it's usually, Son of a Busicut, or Friggin, or Son of a Beach.

#123

c**k

#124

When We ( hubby and myself) found out i was pregnant we made pizza our swearword
So we got used to it and now we dont swear in front of our kid
So pizza

#125

bum flaps Bianca

#126

I swear?

#127

"SSSSSSSSS...." like a snake

#128

Planker (Wa**) Prit-Stick (Prick), Door K**b, Flosser (Toss**), Custard (Bas**), Twix (Tw*t)

Also love the ones from Upstart Crow like Bastable and Bollingbrookes :)

#129

Custard

#130

I say the name of a place in Scotland, Ecclefechan, because when you say it with feeling it sounds just like a swear word.

Oh, Ecclefechan.......!!!!