However Imperfectly

Fall 2022/Amanda Garner

It takes less than sixty seconds on any social media platform to realize how much value our culture places on perfection. With a few taps and swipes, you can find the perfect recipe, the perfect diet, the perfect vacation spot, or the perfect way to decorate your home. If we aren’t careful, every pin, post, and ping can cause us to desire this illusive perfection and leave us dissatisfied with reality. Unfortunately, this mentality can sneak its way into our homeschool efforts, leaving us feeling deflated and defeated. The good news is you don’t need the perfect school room, the perfect curriculum, or the perfect students to have a successful school year! That doesn’t mean we throw our hands up muttering, “Why bother?” What it does mean is that we change our standards. After all, man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16).

I’d be willing to bet not one homeschool momma out there means to fall into the pit of perfectionism. After all, we just want to do a good job. Right? However, it’s a slippery slope, and we have a slithering enemy who is all too willing to nudge us over the edge. So, as another school year full of hope and possibilities shines brightly on the horizon, here are a few helpful reminders to avoid a fall into the pit of perfection.

Hold your plans loosely. A few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend about the upcoming school year. This will be her second year of homeschooling, and by nature, she is a planner. When I complimented her for already having her ducks in a row and books on the shelf, she laughed and said, “I have it all scheduled: when they do school, when they breathe, and when they use the bathroom!” We had a good laugh over that since both of us know what works on paper doesn’t always translate to reality. I gently reminded her of the golden rule of planning: hold it all with an open hand. Schedules and planners are great servants but terrible taskmasters! Let them serve you, but do not let them rule over you. Whether you are a detailed planner or more of the wing-it type, don’t let your expectations cause you to lose your cool and have a toddler-worthy tantrum. On occasion, reality will align with your written wishes. Rejoice when it does, and relinquish your desire for perfection when it doesn’t.

Love your people patiently. Loving patiently is the hardest part of homeschooling, hands down. When I encounter people who are curious about homeschoolers but haven’t met any in real life, they are always befuddled by how the academics are handled. They typically want to know how I teach multiple grades and “all the subjects,” or how and where I get my schoolbooks. When I have given them a satisfactory explanation, what follows next is as sure as the sunrise. There is a deep, wistful sigh, followed by the declaration: “I could never homeschool my kids; I don’t have enough patience.” I laugh and respond, “Yeah, I don’t either.” There is this false notion that patience comes first, that if you have patience, then you homeschool. Nothing could be further from the truth! If anything, we’re called to homeschool first, and then the Lord schools us in the virtues of patience and long-suffering. It’s hard to patiently explain the same math problem five times in a row. It’s hard to patiently explain why we have to do school before we play. The older they get, the harder it gets, too. Try being patient when the pre-teen is sassy or sulky, or when your high school student morphs into a mouthy know-it-all. Yet, what does God’s Word tell us? Love is patient. Love is kind. Love endures all things—including math and biology. 

Evaluate your efforts fairly. Have you ever noticed how many items come with warning labels? The tag on a new mattress warns you not to remove the tag. Hair styling tools warn of being shocked if immersed in water. Disposable coffee cups warn the customer that the contents may be hot. Some of these warnings may come across as a bit comical, but somewhere along the way, the company decided that the warning was warranted. If I were to place a warning label on anything related to homeschooling, it would say: “Warning! Do not compare yourself to others!” Like the previously mentioned warnings, this one might strike you as common sense. Yet, we all struggle with the comparison game. We look around and think: her kids are always so well behaved; that mom has the best curriculum; her kids are so talented and smart; they always take such awesome field trips. On and on we go, repeating the silent litany of their victories and our failures. Let me remind you that the Lord has blessed each of your children with unique personalities and abilities and then entrusted them to you, because you, sweet momma, are exactly who they need. Then He called you to this wonderfully crazy adventure we call homeschooling. Keep being obedient to that call, however imperfectly, and trust Him for the rest.

Amanda Garner writes from the small town of Franklinton, North Carolina. She is the homeschooling momma of four and passionate about home education. She enjoys supporting the homeschool community through blogging, writing, and speaking. When not teaching or writing, Amanda can be found hiding in local cafes with an espresso and a good novel.

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