The LGBTQ+ Migration: Why Many Are Leaving Everything Behind To Move Across the Country

Kristen Chapman, 52, doesn’t know anyone in Virginia. She doesn’t have a job lined up or a home there. But this summer, the Tennessee mother of three will uproot her family from Nashville and move 600 miles away to Richmond, VA, so that her transgender daughter can continue receiving the gender-affirming care that Chapman believes has saved her child’s life.

In March, Tennessee banned gender-affirming care for transgender minors.

“My youngest child cannot get care here legally. I no longer feel welcome here. I no longer feel safe here,” says Chapman, a social worker and artist, who identifies as queer. “I literally feel targeted, like someone painted a big X on our door and we have to get out.”

Chapman is part of a growing number of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people and their families fleeing neighborhoods, cities, and states where they are worried about their safety. Some have faced harassment as anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric has spread throughout the country. Others are desperate parents of children whose gender-affirming health care has been outlawed by their state governments. Most are relocating to blue and purple cities and states, where housing costs are often much higher but they feel welcomed.

Since June 5 of this year, more than 525 anti-LGBTQ+ bills have been introduced in 41 states, creating a new record, according to the Human Rights Campaign. More than 220 of those bills targeted transgender individuals with at least 20 states now banning gender-affirming care. More than 76 bills have become law, more than double last year, according to the HRC.

While there are no official estimates of how many LGBTQ+ people and families are relocating, it’s a growing number, says Anita R. Blue, a Realtor® in Houston and president-elect of the LGBTQ+ Real Estate Alliance. It’s an issue that’s increasingly spilling over into the housing market.

“Housing’s going to suffer,” says Blue. “People don’t want to live or buy a home in a state where they don’t feel safe.”

In 2020, several months into the COVID-19 pandemic, Chapman received a three-word email from her daughter. It said, “I am trans.”

What followed was about a year of doctor’s visits, tests, and mental health evaluations before her child, now 15, began receiving puberty blockers.

Chapman explains that her child was suicidal before receiving treatment. Now, if her daughter misses a treatment, she will go through puberty—as a boy.

“If I don’t get her to a state in August where she can receive a shot, then she literally could resume puberty immediately. Her voice could drop, and there’s no fixing that,” says Chapman. “The more she passes as a [cisgender woman], the safer she is. That was our big motivation to move quickly.”

She chose Richmond because she hopes that her husband, whom she is separated from, will be able to transfer his job to one of his company’s offices there to be close to their 15-year-old and 17-year-old autistic daughter. Their oldest is away at college. Chapman started a GoFundMe campaign to help pay for moving costs.

“I’m really angry. But the overwhelming feeling is I’m just heartbroken,” Chapman says through tears. “I’m exhausted, and I’m scared for my family. At this point, my children deserve to feel some peace and stability.”

Dallas-area real estate broker Bob McCranie has helped 27 clients worried about anti-LGBTQ+ harassment and legislation move out of Texas. Most are going to blue states, such as Illinois, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Colorado, or even abroad.

Last year, he started FleeTexas.com, which was followed by FleeRedStates.com. The sites help connect homebuyers and sellers to LGBTQ+ real estate agents.

“There’s a migration going on right now,” says McCranie. “We’re trying to get people out of harm’s way and to a place that’s a little bit safer.”

But moving, especially cross-country, takes money.

Those leaving red states might find that home and rental prices, as well as everything else, are much higher in blue states. Transplants are often leaving behind their support networks and essentially starting over.

Callen Jones, a Realtor® with the Dalton Wade Real Estate Group and who is based in Tampa, FL, has seen many people leave Florida due to the state’s anti-LGBTQ+ laws. This spring Jones, who identifies as transgender, helped four people sell their homes. Jones’ clients, who were self-employed or worked remotely, relocated to the Midwest and Northeast.

Last year, Florida made headlines for banning classroom instruction on sexual orientation and gender identity in public schools for kindergarten through third grade. The law, which has since been expanded to higher grades, resulted in a teacher being investigated for showing her fifth-grade class the Disney movie “Strange World,” which has a gay character.

In May, Florida Gov. and Republican presidential candidate Ron DeSantis signed into law legislation to restrict gender-affirming health care for transgender minors. The law also allows children who undergo treatment to be placed in the state’s temporary custody.

“A lot of our folks who are openly LGBTQ and their parents are fearful,” says Jones. “Home is so vastly important to everyone, the ability to have a home and feel safe and feel settled. If you don’t feel safe, secure, and affirmed, you’re not going to be your best self.”

Nicole, who did not want to be fully identified, moved from the Fort Worth, TX, area to Denver with her husband and 14-year-old twin boys in mid-November.

One of their twins came out as bisexual in 2019 and then as transgender a year later. He began gender-affirming health care six months later.

In February of last year, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott directed the state’s Department of Family and Protective Services to investigate parents of transgender children receiving gender-affirming care. The order was successfully challenged in the courts but is now being appealed. On Sept. 1, it will become illegal for doctors in the state to provide gender-affirming care to those under 18.

“It was urgent that we needed to leave,” says Nicole. “The thought of both of [our kids] being taken from us because we support gender-affirming care was terrifying.”

She was advised to create a “safe” folder for affidavits from people who knew the family and could testify they were good parents. Their children were advised not to answer questions from adults they didn’t know unless Nicole and her husband were present.

“I couldn’t in good conscience stay any longer,” says Nicole.

The family chose Denver, despite not having family or friends there. They had searched online for LGBTQ+-friendly places, and Colorado kept coming up.

Their three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, which they purchased in 2019, took five months to sell. They barely broke even. In November, they moved into a rental house in Denver, which was considerably more expensive.

Nicole, who is a mortgage lender, was able to continue working remotely. Her husband is retired from the Air Force. Most importantly, their son is able to continue with his treatment.

“We didn’t realize how we were living down in Texas until we got up here. This massive weight was lifted, and the fear was gone,” she says. “We feel like we can take a deep breath.”

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