After My Son Ran Away Part 6 [Video]

By Beleaf in Fatherhood

If you have been keeping up with the puzzle storyline, I’m sure you know that Uriah attempted to leave the house by himself last episode. He left the house walked down the street made a wrong turn and came back. When I came home I dealt with Uriah not out of anger without a protection. Parenting is definitely difficult because you’re trying to make the right decision in the moment but trying not to make the wrong decision for a lifetime.

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Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited)

0:00
first things first let me just uh
0:03
welcome you black right welcome black to
0:06
belief in fatherhood my name is belief
0:08
this is an update to uh
0:11
the uriah puzzle slash running away
0:15
and i want to tell you everything but i
0:18
want to make sure there’s an
0:19
understanding of why we do this
0:22
why we do we do because i got a couple
0:25
comments
0:26
um that were saying like yo
0:29
like you need to turn off the camera you
0:31
shouldn’t have your kids out there like
0:32
that
0:33
and then i had some people talking about
0:35
you guys are too soft on him why is he
0:36
able to get away with this stuff
0:38
and then
0:40
i had other people saying like you need
0:41
to spank him you need to do this he
0:43
don’t respect you
0:46
and like let me just just talk about the
0:48
privilege right
0:50
um
0:52
as somebody
0:54
who
0:55
didn’t necessarily know what it was like
0:58
to be a father or parent
1:00
because my our parents really didn’t
1:02
explain things why they did what they
1:04
did they just had to do it
1:06
and they did what they had to do
1:09
you have
1:10
an amazing advantage point to know the
1:14
inner workings of a family you know what
1:16
i’m saying
1:17
which
1:18
um
1:20
is
1:21
a privilege to you you know what i’m
1:22
saying um and not something that is
1:24
normally shared i could easily make my
1:27
life look entirely too fly
1:30
and easily show the best parts of me
1:34
the highlight reel
1:35
and go viral 10 and 12 times over that
1:38
would not be
1:39
difficult
1:40
but
1:41
i think there is a
1:44
disadvantage to that because i’m lying
1:46
to you and i’m telling you
1:48
that everything is okay and sometimes
1:52
it’s not
1:53
you know some of you may even see
1:56
this part of parenting and like
1:59
immediately it makes your skin crawl
2:01
because i’m showing you this
2:03
but you’re still consuming it
2:05
that may just be your own projection
2:07
because you’re not confrontational or
2:09
you don’t like discipline or you don’t
2:11
like to see other people hurt or in pain
2:14
but this is very very normal in homes
2:17
like people are dealing with the stuff
2:19
all the time
2:20
and they’re not showing you it
2:22
and they’re not telling anyone about it
2:24
because there’s a lot of shame
2:26
associated with how how you parent and i
2:29
would love
2:31
for this place to be a space where we
2:33
can demystify
2:35
a lot of the
2:37
um things that we have
2:39
allowed ourselves to believe that are
2:42
untrue right um and so i would love for
2:45
this to be a free space and if you don’t
2:47
consider it a free space it’s not for
2:49
you you know what i mean and although i
2:52
love every single you know time someone
2:54
hits the subscribe button i love seeing
2:55
the subscribers going up some people
2:57
just ain’t built for the authenticity
2:59
some people just want everything to be
3:00
perfect and it’s just not real and so uh
3:04
that’s that and so
3:06
i just want to let you guys know what
3:07
the position is the position of who you
3:10
are right i’m all for
3:12
i disagree with you on this um you know
3:14
what i’m saying i’m all for here’s some
3:16
advice here’s what i know from a
3:18
clinical therapist
3:19
family whatever situation like i’m all
3:21
for that like leave those comments all
3:23
day when you start to like accuse me
3:26
or the family of like
3:28
selling ourselves
3:30
for entertainment that’s not what this
3:32
is
3:33
this is literally a service because i
3:35
know that there’s somebody who’s gonna
3:37
walk into parenthood and their child is
3:40
gonna be disrespectful and they’re gonna
3:42
think it’s something wrong with them and
3:44
it’s not you know what i’m saying and so
3:46
i would love
3:47
to be um
3:49
the catalyst here and um
3:52
another thing i want to let you know is
3:54
that this video these videos
3:57
were recorded in february december
4:00
january february so
4:01
this story is long over
4:03
so
4:04
um we’ve already came to a resolution
4:07
and
4:08
i believe some of you gonna be shocked
4:10
how it ends
4:12
but
4:12
um definitely stick around if you can
4:15
and then make your judgment
4:17
okay
4:18
um and this is another point right here
4:21
um i’m not very proud of
4:23
how everything took place but honestly i
4:25
saw no other option
4:28
okay so
4:29
after i drove home
4:31
i get to the house in my dream i’m
4:33
driving kind of slow when i get close to
4:34
the house because i don’t know if the
4:36
boys in the street or not
4:37
i open up the door and i’m like where is
4:39
he right
4:40
and i’m still kind of like
4:43
angry right
4:45
and i walk upstairs
4:47
right because they told me he was
4:48
upstairs
4:49
and i open a door and i say
4:52
what is going on with you
4:56
now um
4:57
he goes what do you mean
4:59
i was like you left the house
5:01
he was like
5:02
yeah but i came back
5:04
and i’m like yeah but you left the house
5:08
um and i wasn’t gonna film this right
5:10
uh
5:11
or share any of this um
5:14
via like visually because i was kind of
5:16
like this is kind of like a crisis and
5:18
so so the conversation went like yeah
5:20
uh okay so
5:23
why did you leave the house
5:25
because i want a new mom
5:28
i said what’s wrong with the mother you
5:30
had
5:32
she doesn’t let me do what i want to do
5:35
i said okay
5:37
um where are you gonna go what was your
5:39
plan
5:42
i was gonna
5:43
go to my friend’s house
5:45
right
5:46
and so
5:48
i was like how are you gonna get there
5:49
he was like i was gonna drive and i said
5:52
bro you can’t even reach the pedals you
5:53
don’t even know how to drive he was like
5:55
i was gonna stick a rock on the pedal
5:57
and so
5:58
then i’m like
6:00
it’s not funny you know what i’m saying
6:02
but i’m more like
6:04
i don’t know if this dude got all his
6:06
marbles you know what i’m saying or he’s
6:08
just kind of talking and he live in the
6:09
cartoon world or maybe he’s seen stuff
6:11
on tv so i’m kind of like all right we
6:13
gotta monitor everything this dude’s
6:14
watching
6:15
but then i’m like letting him finish his
6:17
sentences and letting him say all the
6:19
things he want to say and so
6:22
i’m um every time i ask him a question
6:24
he has a really quick answer for me
6:26
which really makes me believe that he
6:28
thinks that he’s right so i try i was
6:31
trying to get down to the heart of the
6:32
issue and i said listen when you leave
6:34
the house right and i’m speaking more
6:37
calmly at this point when you leave the
6:38
house you put yourself in danger
6:41
you’re not critically thinking
6:43
you like
6:45
you you are showing and displaying your
6:48
to your siblings that this is okay
6:50
behavior so you’re changing the culture
6:51
of the home which is really important
6:53
for me
6:54
and you’re disrespecting your mom
6:56
i was like
6:57
you need to feel the weight of these
6:59
actions
7:00
what do you suggest
7:02
i do about this
7:04
he said
7:06
i don’t know
7:07
wall squats
7:10
right because that’s what i usually have
7:11
them do
7:12
and so i was like well that doesn’t work
7:14
you know what i’m saying because like we
7:15
try this and you know what i’m saying
7:17
like i’ve tried to play with you i tried
7:19
to get you to do wall squats and planks
7:22
and i tried to um you know we exercise
7:25
or we do a lot of stuff but it’s like
7:27
i’m not getting you’re not hearing me
7:29
you know what i’m saying
7:30
like why did you think it was okay for
7:32
you to leave the house
7:34
he was like because you guys don’t
7:36
respect me
7:37
and i said okay how are we not
7:38
respecting you and he said
7:42
because you don’t let me watch tv and i
7:44
said buddy you can watch tv you just got
7:47
to do the puzzle first that was the
7:48
agreement
7:49
theo did his part you have to do your
7:51
part now you know what i’m saying and
7:52
that’s it
7:54
and so he was like
7:57
puzzles are just hard for me if i could
7:59
do like a game or something and i was
8:01
like bro you don’t get to choose your
8:03
consequences
8:04
you know what i’m saying and he was like
8:06
you know
8:07
i want to move in with you know this set
8:09
friend and i want to move in because
8:11
their mom and their dad let them do
8:12
whatever they want to do
8:13
black parents right they say stuff
8:16
that’s funny
8:17
but it’s not it’s like dang that was a
8:19
clever line but that was the wrong
8:20
timing
8:21
so he goes yeah i want a new mom i want
8:23
a new dad you know what i’m saying i
8:25
don’t want to be here right i don’t want
8:27
to be in this house
8:28
so i said
8:30
surprise
8:32
right now you have a new dad today
8:34
because i’m going to do something that i
8:36
don’t do
8:37
and i’m going to need you to take off
8:38
your pants
8:39
because i have to give you a spanking
8:42
and immediately
8:45
he like broke like into tears and
8:48
usually what i do is i’m like look man i
8:51
need you to take off your pants but do
8:52
you want one more shot you know what i’m
8:54
saying and he goes yes i want another
8:55
shot and then usually he’s good
8:57
but this time he had already crossed the
9:00
boundary a couple weeks ago i did a
9:01
video talking about how i discipline my
9:03
kids and how you know spanking is like
9:05
the last option um that’s one thing i do
9:08
is i don’t i do not spank you know what
9:11
i’m saying but
9:13
and i’m not saying i’m opposed to it but
9:15
that is not that’s like the 100th option
9:18
at this point i feel like i got to that
9:20
last option because when when you
9:23
disrespect your mom and i have to come
9:24
home you know what i’m saying
9:26
um
9:27
because you don’t respect her enough for
9:29
for her words to just be my words you
9:31
know then um
9:34
like i have to make you feel this you
9:36
know what i’m saying and
9:38
if i take away things from you it
9:39
doesn’t work if i challenge you in
9:42
certain ways it doesn’t work like you
9:44
think i am something to vanquish and i
9:46
just want to let you know that i’m it’s
9:48
it’s not going to happen you know what
9:50
i’m saying so um
9:53
i i you know i definitely
9:56
um
9:57
you know proceeded with the with with
9:59
the discipline
10:00
and you could tell i’m tiptoeing around
10:02
this
10:03
i
10:04
unfortunately
10:06
had to um
10:09
make him feel it and i felt
10:11
bad and i feel bad you know what i’m
10:13
saying about having to do that i hated
10:15
it
10:15
you know i hate the fact that i have to
10:17
get to this point for him to hear me
10:20
and i would hate it even more if it
10:22
didn’t work
10:27
this is why like
10:30
you can’t parent every child the same
10:32
way
10:33
right some kids need a different
10:35
approach
10:36
um
10:38
and
10:40
your riot is the kid that needs you to
10:42
physically
10:43
like he needs to feel it physically even
10:45
if it’s not spanking like he needs to do
10:47
something physical like
10:49
you know he need like he’s up he’s like
10:51
physical touch type person he’s always
10:53
laying on you touching you finding you
10:55
like you know
10:57
um
10:59
and so
11:02
i came downstairs he came downstairs and
11:04
was mad and i said buddy
11:07
um
11:08
i don’t want to spank you
11:10
i was like i don’t want to like
11:13
i would love for you just to listen to
11:14
what i’m saying and trust that i’m not
11:16
trying to harm you
11:18
i don’t want to do that
11:20
you know what i’m saying
11:21
but i will
11:23
if that’s the only way i can communicate
11:25
to you right and he’s like
11:30
um he said something
11:33
that was kind of like mouthy
11:35
like he was still like all right now
11:37
that that’s over like you ain’t gonna do
11:39
it again
11:42
and i was like
11:44
what’s happening tomorrow i asked event
11:46
and she goes
11:48
uh
11:50
they’re supposed to go to school
11:51
tomorrow i was like
11:53
i will since you don’t want to listen to
11:56
your mom
11:57
um
11:58
and you don’t want to
12:00
um
12:01
follow the rules of the house
12:03
tomorrow you’re going to follow my rules
12:06
and so
12:07
you won’t be going to school tomorrow
12:10
all of your worksheets
12:12
all of your homework assignments i’m
12:13
going to be your teacher you’re going to
12:14
come to work with me you’re going to do
12:16
all the things i need to do
12:19
you know and so after you started
12:20
popping off and just kind of talking
12:22
crazy i just like look man like i tried
12:25
you know
12:26
um to get through to you you know what
12:27
i’m saying like we already had what we
12:29
did upstairs you know i’m saying um but
12:32
i’m gonna do something else that you’re
12:34
not gonna like um you still have to do
12:36
the puzzle
12:37
right um and this time it’s not for tv
12:40
it’s just the only thing you’re going to
12:41
do
12:43
from now on like you’re not doing
12:45
anything except for the puzzle
12:46
you know what i mean like don’t ask me
12:48
if you can play a game uh board game
12:50
don’t ask me if you could draw
12:52
you just go upstairs and do the puzzle
12:54
and you have to do all 300 pieces not
12:56
just 150 that i said
12:59
like i tried to be nice with you and now
13:02
like now i’m not even giving you the
13:04
option to fail like you’re gonna see
13:05
this through you know what i’m saying
13:07
and it’s not because i have this like
13:09
trying to fight the power or like the
13:12
power struggle it’s like bro i ask you
13:14
to do something i don’t care what it is
13:17
like as long as i’m not trying to get
13:19
you to harm yourself
13:20
or harm someone else
13:22
do what i ask you to do bro pick up the
13:24
thing do this over here finish the
13:26
puzzle i don’t like puzzles i don’t care
13:28
and ryan’s the type of kid that he’ll
13:30
get on your nerves until you give in
13:33
right so but sometimes it’s heavy right
13:36
so he’ll be like
13:37
mom mom mom i’m hungry i’m hungry i’m
13:39
hungry can have a snack and have a snack
13:40
and have a snack i have a snack she’ll
13:41
be like yes finally right but
13:45
so the next day when he came in
13:47
it wasn’t the same like
13:50
he came in
13:52
i welcomed him and i just let him know
13:54
like look man
13:56
today i’m the teacher
13:58
and you’re going to listen to everything
13:59
i say and if you don’t it’s gonna be
14:02
your loss because
14:03
you’re gonna have to earn
14:05
every snack every break everything
14:08
so he starts working and he’s like it’s
14:11
like an hour and he’s still on like the
14:13
first three questions of his first
14:14
worksheet and i’m like man he’s like can
14:16
i have snack and i’m like nah he’s like
14:18
well usually it’s break time
14:20
after an hour and i was like no you
14:23
don’t you don’t get a break until you
14:24
until you finish that first sheet he was
14:26
only on question three and i was like
14:29
and you got to hurry up because i have
14:30
the gym soon so
14:32
um if you want to get your snack before
14:34
the gym
14:36
then you need to you know hurry up and
14:37
do the worksheet
14:39
and so he was like
14:41
well why can’t i just eat it at the gym
14:43
i was like because you’re working out
14:44
with me
14:45
you’re coming to the gym and working out
14:46
with me so
14:48
you know like we we went to the gym
14:52
um
14:53
uh
14:54
you know he earned every single break he
14:56
earned every snack i’ll i just put the
14:58
snack right next to someone said you
14:59
can’t eat it until that she done and if
15:01
the answer’s wrong you can’t you can’t
15:03
eat it you know and so
15:06
you know usually when he does a work a
15:08
school day it takes
15:10
a longer time because he likes to like
15:12
play around and like
15:13
um kind of wander off in his mind and so
15:16
i just was like that ain’t happening
15:18
today you can wander off but you’re just
15:19
gonna be sitting here hungry you know um
15:22
and so we had a we had an overall good
15:24
day connecting it was a very deep
15:26
connection day
15:27
and i think that
15:30
he would rather deal with his mother
15:31
than deal with me you know what i’m
15:33
saying
15:34
um
15:35
yvette had asked him a question and she
15:37
was like do you think you’re ever gonna
15:38
try to run away again and he was like
15:41
turn around and tell me tell your future
15:44
self what you just said
15:46
this is for your future self
15:49
my future self i ran out of my house
15:52
because i wanted to be a doctor
15:54
do you still want to be a doctor
15:57
no not really
16:00
what changed your mind
16:06
having a future pop
16:09
[Laughter]
16:13
i know that as a child like i had like a
16:15
fear of my parents you know what i’m
16:17
saying like i was scared of them i don’t
16:18
think uriah is scared of me but i do
16:21
think he knows that i will take it to
16:22
whatever level i need to take it to to
16:24
get through to him
16:25
um which i think is healthy
16:28
even though i never want to take it
16:30
there ever again like i have no desire
16:32
to ever put my hands on him ever again i
16:35
don’t want to do it
16:36
but
16:38
i will
16:40
you know what i’m saying that just
16:42
that’s one of them things it’s like
16:46
i
16:47
i i know like i’ve tried to like 100
16:49
sentences
16:51
you know what i’m saying he started
16:52
crying at
16:53
sentence number two the thing is right
16:55
you just got to keep pushing him you
16:56
know what i’m saying like he does have a
16:58
limit but he doesn’t know what it is
17:00
so the next day
17:02
theo has been working on the puzzle
17:05
without uriah
17:10
[Music]

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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