Hear me out: The only acceptable way to choose your sweatpants depends entirely on your couch

Reporting live from can’t-remember-what day of self-quarantine, the Well+Good team has a theory that we’re going to shoot out into the universe for the sake of your utmost comfort. The best way to shop for your next pair of sweatpants is not by scrolling Instagram. It’s not by reading endless reviews online. And no, it’s not even by buying a second color of your fave pair. The best (the only?!) way to choose your sweatpants right now is by the materials that they are made out of and how those materials pair with your couch.

Raise your hand if you’re currently ice-skating around on your leather couch thanks to your silky sweatpants. Or if you’ve gotten stuck in your suede couch in your velour leggings and given up and just stayed there all day. We are here to posit that, these days, good mobility only goes as far as your ability to not slip-and-slide while trying to be productive in your makeshift WFH office (which, if you’re anything like me… is your living room).

And so, after careful research done in various pairs of sweatpants on various different couch materials, we’ve discovered that there are, in fact, ideal combos that you should know about when you’re living that #selfquarantinelife. I kid you not. With that, keep scrolling for the dynamic duos, and shop ’em for yourself.

Photo: Everlane; Graphic: Well+Good Creative

Cashmere sweatpants + velvet couch

If you’ve got a velvet couch, you’ll want to invest in cashmere sweatpants and lean into the fact that you are literally living the lap of luxury. The soft-as-a-dream cashmere texture nestles perfectly on velvet for a workday sponsored by cotton baby kittens.

Photo: Outdoor Voices; Graphic: Well+Good Creative

Polyester sweatpants + linen couch

A classic polyester-based sweatpant is light, airy, and is about as comfortable as going pants-less. This is why it’s paired nicely with a breezy linen-fabric couch. The two spring-forward materials allow your bum to feel as though you’re sitting upon a cloud.

Photo: Suzi Kondi; Graphic: Well+Good Creative

Velour sweatpants + leather couch

You’ve put yourself in a tricky sweatpants predicament with the leather couch, I won’t lie, because there’s going to be less friction with leather than with other couch materials. But by wearing velour, you’re most likely to be a graceful ice dancer, than a slip-and-slide queen.

Photo: Aviator Nation; Graphic: Well+Good Creative

Cotton sweatpants + cotton couch

Repeat after me: cotton on cotton on cotton. If you’re more of a traditional cotton-based sweatpants kinda lounger, know that these bottoms pair nicely with a cotton-blend couch fabric. Both are basic but soft, and the cotton couch keeps your bum from falling out of cross-cross applesauce shape every 10 minutes, which is really WFH gold, if you ask me.

In case you’re wondering, here’s the deal on whether not wearing underwear (underneath those sweatpants) has any health effects. And this is what happens when you go braless for an extended period of time. 


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