Hey Pandas, What’s The Most Uncomfortable Thing A Family Member Has Said To You At A Family Gathering?

I hope this isn't common.


it was more of a smaller gathering (bc of covid)
one of my family members told me i would never make it to heaven if i kept being gay. me, being the idiot i am, stood up and yelled, "Praise Satan then" and stormed off.
everyone went SILENT


Saw my great uncle for the first time in years, first thing he says to me is " wow, you've grown! In many ways..." * Looks at my chest*.
Wtf Uncle Jeff not cool bro


Step-uncle-in-law gave me advice about giving birth


"If you don't want kids you just haven't found the right guy yet!" My boyfriend was right by my side


my mom wanted me to take a succulent cutting from the garden of the airbnb where i was staying. i said no. she kept at at it. i said i'd ask the host. my mom said "what? why?? no!!!" and "i didn't raise you to ask permission!" i was slightly shocked and then thought for a second..it's true. she didn't, but somehow i know the difference btwn right and wrong anyway. luckily, i don't do what my mom tells me to do.


I was told I needed to get tips on doing my makeup. I was at my husband's funeral.


Oh you're here, we thought you would be staying home again


My grand mother when I was maybe 11 :
"Oh you've gained weight again, and why are you still dressed like a boy"? After that she forced me to try on my great grand mother moldy fur coat and asked me why I didn't like boys...
Ah family, great memories.


"You are so pretty when you aren't heavy" - courtesy of my asss-face MIL, a few months after giving birth to her second grandchild from us in two years. (I gained about 35 pounds for the first and 2 pounds on top of that for the second). Meanwhile, her other son is a good 20 pounds under weight from switching to "healthier food intake". He was never overweight.


Every time I see my family, a few people comment on how I “need to eat more” or “you are too skinny”. I absolutely hate when people say that because I am very insecure about my body. (Also first post lol)


"Where's your "boyfriend"?" They used air quotes and everything! My reply was, "He's working." He always works weekends, still does and now he's my husband, I eventually had him take a Saturday off so they he could meet some of my more extended family.


There's just always that one relative or a family member who has a lot of obnoxious stuff to say, nobody likes to hear it, but still has to. It seems like a magical ability to just share things that nobody wants to hear.

One relative of mine just talks non-stop about her ailments, it's depressing. The other just had some really unpleasant opinions.


Had an in-law try to pick a physical fight with me at a funeral because I removed him from Facebook.


Made lots of jokes about mental disorders, and a good deal of homophobic comments.


Not uncomfortable for me per say because I agreed and appreciated the sentiment, but definitely not the time lol. A little back story . My fiance' and I bought our first home and after it closed we took a trip to his family home state across the country. I had spoken to his grandparents regularly on the phone so they "knew" me but never met me in person. (they are in their 70's / 80's so no technology to video chat). It was my Fiance, me, his brother, his wife, and father all going. Brother J and his wife are a bit famous in the family because wifey is a gold digger and lazy. She never works, and when she does doesn't hold a job for more than a month or so. Spends all his money and when he was deployed there were other questions in the family about her faithfulness, anyhow... Grandpa is in his late 70's and is an old Puerto Rican New Yorker, he gives ZERO f***s about couth. (one thing I adore about him actually) Once we physically met we were instant pals and I adore this man immensely. We all went out for supper the first night and everyone was chatting and catching up. Out of nowhere gramps turns to Wifey and says "So you got a job yet?" She said laughing "No grandpa I'm a stay at home mom" "Why???" He boomed. "Kids have school no? What you need to stay home for now? They aren't in diapers." He looked at me. I thought oh s**t, my turn. "What about you? You still working?" "Yes Grandpa I am." "Still doing 35 hour of overtime a week?" "Yes Grandpa" "Ohhh so you don't live off my Grandson huh? That's good, that's good. How long do you have now at you job?" (15 years grandpa... almost 16." (Turning to her) "Huh so you retire in a few years then? Weird, see (Wife) it's not that hard." I about fell over laughing but held it together. Although awkward, it was nice to know I am not on that man's bad side. I'd like to feel bad for (Wife) but I can't I wasn't raised to take advantage of people and it didn't even bother her. When we got home she had a job handed to her on a silver platter. Work from home, great benefits and great money courtesy of my fiance. She quit just over a month later.


Wow! You got fat! - my aunt on the day of my dads funeral.


You could never pass as a boy, darling.

Said by my mother to young trans me still trying to figure things out. Jokes on her I get "misgendered" every single day by people who don't even know me so I'm obviously doing something right.


I could take up this whole thread with my mother-in-law but one time she asked my husband what my bra size is.


My Grandmother "Nice boys don't like fat girls mija," and then she got upset when I wouldn't eat the huge plate of food she served me. I was 9 or 10.


Thanksgiving. I was ten. First Thanksgiving with my step family. Walked into the kitchen to hear my dad say that my stepsister was the perfect child but I was a total disappointment. I started crying. He slapped me and said “what did you expect me to do, lie?” Everyone went off and started dinner as if nothing had happened. I was left standing by myself. I hate Thanksgiving. And my father.


“Are you gay or just dumb” -Grandma 2020


Ohhh you're divorced, serves you right.


They were there.that’s all I have to say


When I was six I had drawn a picture for my Auntie and when I gave it to her she said, "uh... ah..no." then threw it in the bin infront of me.


My preschool cousin telling me, in front of everyone, that I should marry her older sisters (also my cousins, also two of them).


My aunt from my step-side of the family was going on about “providing the first male grandchild” — my brother was standing right next to her and grandma.


i hadn't seen my brother for at least 15+ years due to his travel and spending time in europe. he had returned to the states and lived a couple hours away but still no real contact. then, mom got sick. so, i drove up to get him and then up to my mom's. now, i had gone from being 15 to 30+ since i last saw him and i had pursued a career in which i needed to be in good shape so i worked out a lot. once mom got home from the hospital we all got together and it was then that he announced to everyone that he thought i looked like arnold swartzenegger in drag. my mom popped up and commented, 'yeah, and she rides a motorcyle, too'. he just glared at me and that was when i told him that i also rolled my own tampons and kickstarted my vibrator. i thought mom was going to pop her stitches and my dad, a very quiet man, choked on his tea. my brother never said another word about me.


My ex-MIL referring to the local shop owner who was an Asian man: "We don't like those sort of people here". This was on Walney Island, Barrow in Furness, Cumbria. Said ex-MIL was also probably one of the most boring people in existence in addition to bring racist having no interests, never read any books just trashy magazines, never watched any films or listened to music, knew nothing about history or current affairs but full of negative opinions about others, while claiming to be a Christian and having the audacity to tell me I'll go to he'll. The shop owner btw was always pleasant friendly helpful and courteous.


2 things, both said by in-laws. 1- at a restaurant to waitress, “that’s our last grandkid. No more bcuz we can’t afford them.” We’ve never asked them for anything for the kids. And made me want to get prego just to show her! 2- estate sale for great granny passing, diff ppl walking through the house to buy stuff. Lil old ladies coming through, saw 1 put a trinket in her purse w/o paying. I let it go, wasn’t worth it. A young black guy came in looking for angels for his mom. He was a hard working kid, I knew he was good and had a good heart. FIL followed him all around. FIL and MIL both said at diff times, “those are the ones you have to watch.” I was so disgusted! That’s when I saw their true selves. I stay away and keep my kids away from them as much as possible.


(note that pretty much everybody is drunk except me, my mom, and my dad)

So it’s a casual dinner with 27 people. Everyone is drinking, then someone drives a car into the wall. Who is it you ask? It’s my cousin Lexus, who appears to be unconscious at the wheel. My uncle is asking me (a girlflux) “wHerE is YOur HusBaND” IM SIX GET IT TOGETHER BOB!


Not at a family gathering, but I once had overheard my parents complaining about me and wishing that I was never born. It hurt a lot, and because I wasn’t supposed to hear their conversation I have to pretend to be oblivious and still act like I care for them.


My 71yo Aunt's husband who looked at my 21yo nigerian girlfriend saying that her skin color give him so much butterfly "down there"... My aunt was present so has my GF's mom...


Step-uncle-in-law told me if I had a C-section I would never be "skinny" again. Who are you?!


"So, you're marrying a "J*p?" Racist Uncle


When they always talk about how skinny I am at family gathering, where in fact I'm quite normal (BMI 23, body fat 18%). I didn't hate my current look anyway... In Indonesia, some people believe that overweight person looks like a rich man, and those who have less fat looks like a beggar.


When I was 17, we were preparing to have a regular dinner, with my grandma coming over as an extra guest.
The table was set, main course needed more time to finish cooking, and I was in the living room watching Cartoon Network as it didn't require a lot of attention and besides I like cartoons of all kind.
My grandma arrived and passed through the living room where she saw me watching tv. She stittered, loooed at me shocked and said " You
..still watch kid stuff?". I didn't bother explaining that lots of cartoons nowadays have subtle queues to relate for a mature audience as well, so I just replied "Uh, yeah, what of it?".
Later during dinner, my grandma would address my father with a concerned face and would say " You should take your son to see a psychiatrist." ( my father froze mid-sip and gazed at her questioningly ) " I caught him watching children's stuff on TV. This isn't right I believe he might be memtally undeveloped. I still want to have great-grandchildren!".
I was right next to her, contemplating how not to explode right there and then.
35 years old now. With a 9 month old baby boy, engaged. Still watching Avatar, Family Guy and whatever the hell I want, probably will watch cartoons till I die.


Thirty years ago, my aunt (dad's sister) took me out to dinner to make sure I knew that the reason I was raped during a home intrusion a year earlier was because my mom was a whore when she was my age (she wasn't a virgin when she married my dad so... whore). "Sins of the father" type of bullshit.
She had only just found out about the assault because my dad made me keep it a secret from that side of the family or she would've informed me when it happened, I'm sure.

Cherry on top was becoming the "bad guy" in the family because I refused to be anywhere she was - I was supposed to put my feelings aside so as not to disrupt the family.


I was at Christmas dinner and my grandpa said "That's a lot of food, are you sure you can eat all that" then I proceeded to leave the table and go to my room and cry.


This wasn't at a family gathering, but my dad says a lot of rude things. He's nice but he gets really passive aggressive towards anything he even vaguely disagrees with.

This one time I was having my friends over soon and was reminding my parents to use the right pronouns for my non-binary friend. My dad then said, in the most FREAKING CONDESCENDING TONE, "oH, sO tHeY'rE mUlTiPlE pEoPlE aRe ThEy?"

Same person who got very passive aggressive when I got out of a crowded place after having a panic attack due to the noise and went to put my earbuds in to listen to music. "are you SURE you want to put noise in your ears if you were SO WORRIED about loud noises?"

I was even brave enough to come out to him as lesbian, and he still asks me if I'm 'interested in any boys atm' and refers to my 'future boyfriend' despite being fully aware I don't like guys.

He's usually nice but it makes it really hard to love him when he acts like anyone with a different opinion to him is 1/2 a year old and needs to have it spelt out for them.


My mothers uncle telling me that my boos are just the perfect size when I was only 14.


When I got the call that I have the job I wanted for years (after years of part time jobs and bad payment) I went to tell it my family their answer was “you’ll never know what might happen in the future so don’t be to happy about that”


My brother launched into a diatribe about how my relationships from 16 to 25 were basically sex for money. Not even going to offer up my stance.


I hadn't seen my dad in a couple of years, due to distance. I went to my little brother's wedding. The very first thing dad said to me, loud enough for everyone to hear, was, "WOW! You got fat!" Of course, everyone had to turn around to see whom he was talking to.


I (F) was 13 yrs old at the time, and my dad asked me at a family gathering if I realized my face was broken out...


Overheard SIL say I got really fat. I am disabled and chronically ill, what's you excuse?


10 years of my life: elderly parents got sick, quit my job, moved in to take care them. Mom died in 6, Dad 4 years later. My older bro and younger sis did not visit, rarely called. After the reading of the will, brother said, “Your free ride is over. Get out. We’re (sister & him) selling the house.” I did corner bro at Dad’s funeral and said: “Your daughter saw how treated your parents. She will do the same to you.” Rest of the family hasn’t spoken to me since. Good riddance.


Can you burp?


My mom wouldn't let me get rainbow Vans.

Me: Mom, can I have those Vans?
Her: The rainbow ones? Ew, no.
Me: Why not?
Her, speaking quietly: I don't want people to think you are gay.
Me: But there's nothing wrong with it!
Her: Yes there is, I will not let you get them.
Me: Fine. *rolls eyes*

Since she doesn't know the pride flags, I got some blue-purple-pink ones instead. I'm bi-ace. Lol.


My mother's Aunt Jean was a woman who couldn't keep her opinions to herself, and rarely stopped talking. We don't have family reunions regularly, so the first one after Aunt Jean died was the first chance Uncle Harry, her husband, had had in years to speak without Aunt Jean interrupting him. He was chatting up a storm with far-flung relatives when my mother and I arrived and carried our food over to add to the lunch choices. Mom whispered to me, "The man talking without taking a breath is my Uncle Harry. He hasn't seen you since you were a toddler." I nodded, unsure what to do with that information.

Mom walked over and greeted Uncle Harry with a kiss on the cheek. His eyes lit up and he focused his unending rush of words on her. When I walked over to join mom, she told him who I was and I just smiled, unsure what to say to him. I certainly didn't remember him from my toddler days.

Uncle Harry turned his attention to me, gave me a quick once-over and smiled big. "The last time I saw you, you were still in training pants!" I nodded and smiled. "You sure got fat!"

...thanks, Uncle Harry. It became clear that during the decades of Aunt Jean shushing and over-talking him, he'd forgotten about basic manners, discretion, and tact. Harry died a few years later, long before the next reunion.


Uncle said I had nice tits... In front of both my aunt (his wife) and my mom... Neither of them said anything.


Me (age 23 F at the time) saw my maternal Grandfather who I hadn’t seen since I’d been on chemo and steroids, which obviously changed my appearance somewhat, specifically made my face very swollen and lost a lot of my hair.

We didn’t see him often (his choice)… his first words, “Huh, you certainly look different now you’re older, I wouldn’t even have recognised you - didn’t you used to be a model? Shame.”
Yep, cheers dude.


My mum’s father at my brother’s 18th Birthday. “Your mother should have never married your father, biggest mistake of her life, she had so much potential, she could have done anything!”
They’ve been happily married for 40 years and if they hadn’t married, neither I nor my brother would exist, so…


Helping senile family move. Wrapping an ancient candy with great care. "I guess you are going to steal that too", popped out of her distant memory bank. I said nothing. What good would it have done.


My Aunt had a habit every time she saw me, she’d say “showing a bit too much cleavage there honey!” She would then grab the neckline of whatever I was wearing at the time and trying to tug it up…………I mentioned it to mum and informed her from then on I planned to wear my most low cut shirts/dresses………She approved!


"I thought so."


When I was thirteen, my mother scolded me (in front of a table full of people) for “flirting” with an adult male. I was mortified, especially as I had just laughed at one of the man’s jokes.


Years ago I was starting to get gray hair. My youngest brother was going prematurely bald. At one family gathering he made some comment about my gray hair. I replied "Better gray than gone!" He looked stunned and everyone else laughed. He never commented again about my hair.

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