One Day, Three Dates

October 07, 2021

You’re probably thinking that’s too much breakfast lunch and dinner nowhere but was actually brunch, a café meet up and a late dinner.

Even though there is one guy that I really can’t stop thinking about he is not one of the three. Plus I doubt he’s thinking of me.

The First Date

Trevor is funny, owns his own logistics company, has loves and adores his seven-year-old son and it’s pretty handsome. We FaceTime a few times throughout the week he texts me and then gets a little anxious and I don’t text him back and then awkwardly makes a comment on FaceTime on how bad I am at responding to him.

So finally I said you know I’m more of an in person type and why don’t we actually meet up the apps are cool and all but face-to-face interaction is better.

Great.

We decided this brunch spot that is equal distance between my place and his so it was only about 15 minutes away and already there’s a huge red flag.

If the food is not good I’m gonna tell my friends about you.

I know it’s a joke and he most likely meant nothing about it however why are you tell me you’re gonna speak badly about me before you tell me if you’re gonna speak good. I read it off keep the date, and mentally prepare myself so that I have zero expectations.

Who knew zero expectations can’t even be let down. He was 25 minutes late I told him I had to be somewhere at two so our 12 PM lunch date had to start promptly because the last thing I want to do is rush while getting to know someone.

The second red flag is an etiquette issue that I didn’t think I would have a problem with because it’s never happened to me before.

He ate his salad with his hands

The salad was fully dressed and decorated and he ate it with his fingers the first thing I said was you’re not gonna use a fork to which he responded no does it bother you?

Now we are at a relatively nice restaurant and a relatively nice upscale area. And we are also the only black people seated now just in our section but in the restaurant as a whole. The latter shouldn’t matter much because we shouldn’t be judged for the color of our skin, however we both know it happens and we both know that we’re already being under close watch because of where we are and who we are.

Something my dad always told me was it does not matter where are you go or who your with always put your best foot forward. I always took this to me and to look your best and act your best in any situation part of that means not eating with my hands unless it’s finger food. You know, Pizza, burgers, french fries.

Since he was already 25 minutes late I was seated when he got there I didn’t pay close attention to what he had on, but when we stood up I realized not only was he wearing a hoodie, which is totally fine, but the dude had on sweats.

Now I know I probably sound like some sort of high maintenance person or whatever but a first date should warrant at least a pair of jeans or chinos or whatever floats your boat but sweats? Not even, joggers but straight up Champion brand sweat pants.

The last yellow flag during the date was I realized he talked more over the phone than he did in person. We have talked on the phone a few times and it’s almost as if he couldn’t shut up, however in person — I couldn’t get him to speak. It was strangely bizarre. Probably more bizarre than the 3 meals he ordered and at under 35 minutes while I struggled to finish my sandwich and salad combo.

The Second Date

Kee was cute. Very cute. Cuter than the pictures he posted online. I was really skeptical about this one because his photos and the way he texts makes him seem uninteresting and like he doesn’t really care about his appearance.

I know, again I sound shallow — but I do care about my appearance because first impressions are important. I’m not materialistic or anything, but I, you know, brush my hair and all that jazz.

In person, he walked up to the bistro table I was already sitting at and sat down immediately and when he smiled I couldn’t help but smile too. He was almost precious. It’s a weird way to describe someone over the age of 7, but it was true. We ordered coffee and fries, and next thing you know, it’s been 3 hours. We talked, showed off our tattoos to each other, compared playlists, and talked about our hopes and dreams. It was so casual and natural that I didn’t even think about the time passing and that I had to get home to my dog who is home alone.

The end of the date it all came crashing down. A one armed hug and a pat on the shoulder.

What?!

I got in the car and drove off confused. He texted me shortly after saying we should get together again soon and that he had a great time. So I called him out.

Okay, but I deserve a better hug.

He admit that the hug weak and he’ll try again if I’ll let him. So is this a win?

The Last Date of the Day

Jared and I went to a crowded health bar style restaurant, sat down immediately and started talking. The first topic? Religion. OH MAN.

So, are you into church and all of that or are you normal?

What a weird way to start a conversation? The funny thing about this is, I am religious, I am Christian — and proud of it. Now I am also VERY liberal and some people think you can’t be both, but you can.

After this comment though things were pretty normal, what do you do? How do you have fun? Do you like your family? Regular stuff.

There were a few silences in the conversation that I attested to the delicious tacos that I stuffed in my face but then I realized the second red flag.

He’s too quiet. He had nothing to say, if I didn’t ask him anything, there was no conversation. Was he shy? Was he nervous?

Are you an introvert?

Not really, he says, he’s usually the one who does all the talking. Which takes me by surprise because well, I’m an introvert.

We finished our food pretty quickly and then with a swift slide of cash to the waitress, the entire date was over. He was walking back to my car and although he gave me a better hug than date #2 — he was pretty boring.

…

My biggest take-a-way today? Free food.

Most of all. Can someone really impress you after your day has already been made?

Probably not.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***